Mosquitoes and Crystal Balls
by Elementress
Summary: Phineas and Ferb create a crystal ball that reads people's fortunes and open up a fortune-telling stand; Doofenshmirtz is jealous that everyone but him is getting mosquito bites in the summer.


A/N: hello everyone! I am back with yet another oneshot, as I'm in a total oneshot mood lately (though I am working on new chapters on my other stories as well). I got this idea from my experiences this summer, and thought it would fit Doof pretty well. Alas, I felt the need to make it into more of a real episode, so I've put in a new adventure for P+F as well. Enjoy! 3

xXxXx

MOSQUITOES AND CRYSTAL BALLS

Summary: Phineas and Ferb decide to read fortunes with a new crystal ball invention; Doofenshmirtz feels left out when everyone but him is getting mosquito bites during the summer.

. . .

It was an average day in the Tri-State Area- well, average if you weren't talking about Phineas Flynn and his stepbrother Ferb Fletcher, who always had something extraordinary going on in their backyard. Today, as always, Phineas had woken up with yet another idea. But as always it came from a random epiphany when someone else had a problem.

"Ah, well, I should have known it was going to be fake." sighed Mrs. Flynn to herself as she was washing the dishes that morning. Phineas and Ferb walked into the kitchen as she said this.

"What was fake, Mom?" asked Phineas.

"Oh, I went to a fortune teller the other day, just for fun. I'm glad I didn't spend that much money on it, because she wasn't even a real fortune-teller! It was just some man dressed like a woman who took money from people and pretended to tell their fortunes... he had a funny accent, too. It was strange..." she shivered at the memory. "Anyway, boys, it's safe to say I won't be going anywhere near fortune-tellers from now on."

"Oh, that's too bad." said Phineas, who then turned to face Ferb. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

The boys went out to their backyard, and sat down by the tree, while Phineas explained the plan. Then, they got started ordering materials and began to set things up, when Isabella opened the gate and strolled in.

"Hey Phineas! What'cha doooooin'?"

"Hi Isabella! We're making a fortune-telling booth. See this crystal ball? It's programmed to tell us what the person's deepest desires are, or something like that. Then we tell them! All they have to do is speak through the microphone when they ask us a question, and then the crystal ball will do the rest of the work. Then, it'll spit out a piece of paper and we'll read it! Cool, huh? You wanna be the first one to try it out?"

"Uh, no thanks. But do you guys need any help with anything?"

Phineas thought for a moment, and looked at Ferb, who handed him a blueprint. After studying it for a few moments, he gave it back to Ferb and said, "Yeah, actually. We were going to offer some free refreshments for the customers, and I think a truck is coming any minute with a couple coolers. Could you go pick out some drinks to fill them up with?"

"Sure!" Isabella turned to the group of Fireside Girls who had wandered in after her, and shouted, "Let's go, Fireside Girls!" they cheered and, led by Isabella, left the backyard. Soon after, a large truck appeared and backed in. While the coolers were being unloaded, Phineas signed the paper the cooler guy held out for him.

"Hey, aren't you a little young to be ordering coolers and running a fortune-telling service?" he asked, raising an eyebrow while Phineas passed him the clipboard back.

"Yes, yes I am. Hey, where's Perry?"

xXxXx

Meanwhile, at Perry's secret base...

"Agent P! Good to see you." said Major Monogram. "I see you're looking well."

"Sir, he's scratching a mosquito bite." Carl's voice could be heard outside the screen.

"Ah. Well, we'd send you some insect repellent, but it seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to no good. He's recently been buying up all the insect repellent available in every local supermarket in the Tri-State Area. Go and find out what he's doing. And see if you can bring me back a bottle? I have the worst mosquito bite right under my mustache..."

With a salute, Perry was off. Soon enough he barrel-rolled through the cat-flap in Doofenshmirtz's door, staring up at the scientist.

"Well hello, Perry the Platypus! What a nice surprise! Thank you for using the cat-flap I installed for you. It's really much easier than breaking my door every time!"

Perry raised an eyebrow, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Oh right, you're probably wondering why I've been recently buying out all the local supermarkets of their insect repellent! Come here, and I'll show you!" Perry cautiously stepped forward, and Doof pulled a white sheet off of the invention, yelling, "Behold! The mosquitobiteawayinator! You know, I wasn't sure that this name was very, well... unique, but I guess it'll have to do. See, I've loaded this Inator with lots and lots of insect repellent! When I spray something with it, they'll never get bitten by mosquitoes again! Then the mosquitoes will have no choice but to bite ME! Ahahaha!"

Perry just stared. Doofenshmirtz sighed, but continued. "Yes, well, I suppose you're waiting for a backstory on this one, too. You see, this summer, everyone has been getting unbearable mosquito bites! But the only person who isn't getting them is me! Even Vanessa has one! So, I couldn't help but feel a little left out. And, you see... when I was a child, everyone in my country would get mosquito bites every summer, too- but still, not me. Even my brother got mosquito bites, and of course then my mother would pay more attention to him because she had to take care of him and make sure he didn't itch! Ah, it was awful!

"And so now, Perry the Platypus, behold! My mosquitobiteawayinator will solve ALL those problems for me! ...but of course, saving everyone from mosquitoes isn't exactly _evil_, so I added an extra feature! Along with putting on the repellent, it also gives them a horrible rash!"

Perry had heard enough. It was time to go in action. Unfortunately his rival was ready, and had already trapped him in a giant can of repellant. As he struggled, Doof fired up the Inator and began shooting people down on the street below. "Ahahaha!"

xXxXx

Back at Phineas and Ferb's house, the invention was complete and they were getting many customers. Unfortunately for them, Candace was peering out the back glass doors at them and was anything but pleased with their current status. She marched out to the backyard.

"Phineas, Ferb, what are you two doing?"

"Oh hi Candace. We've made a fortune-telling stand."

"When mom sees this, she's gonna flip! You guys are sooooo busted!" Candace brandished her cell phone menacingly at the boys, but they didn't seem even remotely phased by it- as usual. Candace only got more annoyed.

"Okay, but do you want to give it a try first? You're our sister so we won't charge you. It's gonna have to be a quick appointment though, because Isabella said there's another crowd of people on the way."

Candace's eyes narrowed suspiciously but she shrugged. "What the heck, all right, I'll try it."

"Great!" said Phineas, and Ferb seated Candace in front of the booth before going back in and waving his hands around the crystal ball, which had taken in the sound of Candace's voice. Finally, a piece of paper spat out of it and Ferb handed it to Candace. Phineas read over her shoulder.

"Oh wow, Candace, I didn't know you liked Jeremy!"

Candace ripped the paper up into tiny little pieces, dropped them into a conveniently located bonfire, and marched inside, dialing on her cell phone at hyper-speed.

"Mom! Mom! You need to come home right now."

Mrs. Flynn sighed, but humored her daughter as always. "What is it, Candace?" she asked flatly. "Or should I say, what _isn't_ it?"

"Phineas and Ferb made a fortune-telling stand and they're telling super weird and freaky accurate fortunes IN THE BACKYARD."

"Yeah... well, let me just finish grocery shopping, I'm in the checkout, and then I'll be on my way."

"Hehehehehehehe!" Candace hung up her phone and went out to the driveway to wait for her mom.

xXxXx

At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, for once, Dr. Doofenshmirtz almost had a success. He'd managed to hit quite a lot of people before, inevitably, Perry broke free of his trap- "How did you _do_ that, Perry the Platypus?"- and destroyed the Inator.

A mosquito flew in lazily through the window. "See, see? Watch." Doof stared eagerly at the bug, who buzzed around him for a moment before traveling to Perry and landing on him, getting smacked and flicked onto the floor as a result. Doofenshmirtz just stood there, staring at Perry with a look of utter disgust. "Really, Perry the Platypus? Really?"

xXxXx

"Mom! Mom!" Candace attacked her mother as soon as her car drove into the Flynn-Fletcher driveway. "Moooooommmm, come take a look at this!" she began dragging her toward the backyard.

Meanwhile, in the backyard, a laser came from out of the sky, seemingly from some building in town, and hit a mirror, reflecting it and hitting all the customers, who suddenly broke out in a horrible rash. Disgruntled and upset, they all left, taking the stand with them in a mob of people.

"LOOK!" Candace pointed, Mrs. Flynn finally following her to the appointed spot, at Phineas and Ferb, who were standing in the backyard looking a bit confused.

"Hi mom!" said Phineas.

"But... but... but..." Candace stuttered, realizing that yet again her plan was ruined.

"I'm going to go put away the groceries." Mrs. Flynn went back to her car.

Perry waddled into the backyard, and for a moment it sounded as if the words, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" resonated through the air. Phineas shrugged and ignored it, and instead said,

"Hey, there's Perry!"


End file.
